The Quest Before Me

    Funny. I spent so many years writing about battles, struggles, quests, fighting to accomplish goals. I bled time into characters, trying to make them the best they can be. And now I find myself on my own quest, one full of uphill battles and struggles. Holding in my hand a novel felt strange and surreal, and now the arrows are flying at me. Fears of "What if no one likes it?" "Why does no one believe me? Is it that strange that a 21 year old student, studying to dedicate the rest of his life to youth ministry, would publish a fantasy novel?" Even the fear of "He did it himself, it's not an accomplishment."

   Sweat and tears, sweat and tears. I have discovered it is more of a battle doing it all yourself. For better or worse, one must be all parts. Publicist, editor, formatter, graphic design artist, marketer. Some I completed successfully. Others, I nearly failed at. But the fear of failure is overcome by the desire to press on. If the Wright Brothers had given up, where would we be? If Edison had given up, where would we be? While I may not have achieved perfection on the first try, I know in my heart I have achieved something. My struggle is to press on now, through the mud and roaring winds which want to blow me over. How many times must Frodo wanted to give up? How many times do people say we can't rather than keep trying?

   I pray that at least one person finds content to enjoy the story I have crafted. Perhaps it is not the greatest literary masterpiece. But I press on, knowing what I have poured into this story. What I will continue to pour in. I seek not only to finish but to continue despite what my fears may say, and as an example so none may say I can't, or I won't. Or that I gave up. And I urge everyone to continue to press on, never giving up. Don't let anyone tell you because you aren't perfect or what you are doing isn't perfect that you should give up. Or you can't do it. Press on. Continue on. Keep going.

“The only real failure in life is the failure to try.”

   What a strange world it is. And I must be an odd individual. 21 years old, and having a novel written? People looked at me like I was mad, as if it were April Fool's and I was pulling a prank on them. It says a lot about our society today, it seems the things we are known and aspire for are less and less what they used to be.  However, as my blog is titled, I Am Me. I am excited to say I love writing! I love the creativity, of being able to express oneself through narrative. And in actuality, we owe so much to authors and writers! Who is it who dreams up the movies and television shows we sit and watch for hours on end? Writers! They are dreamers, their minds are full of vibrance and creativity. What a blessing that I have been able to do the same.

   I would spend hours sitting and dreaming up stories. I sit and laugh as I read through some of my old ones. And I realize know, at times I was ashamed because it seemed "uncool." But let me tell you: without these stories, we would not have the Halo franchise, the Stars Wars saga, the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter. No, it is most certainly "cool" to be an author. Without this creativity, (and some is lacking) we would not have the entertainment before us. If you dream something, if you have this creativity, express it. Write. Sing. Dance. Act. Don't let anyone tell you it is "uncool." In fact, they are most likely extremely jealous because you will accomplish something they could never dream of accomplishing.

  The question then arises of failure. What if I fail? I may well have failed with this debut novel I just published. (Everstone: A Rising Shadow) But the only other alternative was not to do. I would rather take the chance of failure with the chance of success then not do. When it comes down to it, I feel I have told a good story, I enjoy writing the story. I enjoy reading the story. I enjoy telling the story. And I am content that for me, it is a cool thing to do. And I am going to do it. Don't let your creativity sit and waste. Do something with it. Let's not be afraid of failure, because the only other option is to not do anything.

“Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.”